Our performance begins.

A woman bleeding pristinely underwater. The photo is in black in white, and the subtle effect of her blood in the water is absolutely fabulous. Shame you can't see it if you're reading this. Actually, wait. Are you using a screenreader? Don't take it personally, but if you can't see what's on the screen I would advise you to hire someone less... extraneous. I work in -- how do you say -- a somewhat visual medium. Not unlike clowns.

If you've arrived at this site it's likely you have a particular problem for which I have a very particular solution. You are someone of discriminating taste who understands that it takes more than a weapon and a willing madman to plan the perfect murder — it takes an artist.

Most craftsmen in this line of work suffer from the mental illness of the Noxian tradition. They are content to perform a butchering so long as the job is technically finished. Let's have some pride in our little country: Ionians can do it better.

I offer an exclusive service, not suited for those who merely intend their enemies to disappear. I am the man for those who want their foes made an example of. I will make them rue the day they crossed you, and I will make them famous for it.

Oh!! I also dance. Hire me and I will make your next event or birthday party unforgettable.

I have elaborate plans for you.

Lotus Plan

G 400
  • Consultation (44 min.)
  • Learn the best methods of killing those you dislike at a heavenly price.
  • One (1) Performer
  • FotM Build
  • Classic Costume
  • Free certificate

Virtuoso Plan

G 2994
  • Two (2) Performers
  • Crit OR Lethality Build
  • Choose from 3 Costumes
  • Guardian Angel Insurance

Divine Plan

G 4000
  • Four (4) Performers
  • Your choice of build
  • Choose from 5 Costumes
  • Guardian Angel Insurance

My talent justifies all actions.

Curt in his emails, yet so garrulous in person that I could not get a word in edgewise. Despite this I have no complaints; he somehow knew what I wanted and managed to get the job done. I'm choosing to ignore the 'mental illness' comment.
Jericho S., Noxian Grand General

Even though she respawned, it was still fun to watch Lux explode into flowers. LOL xD
Zoe, age 12

I asked for a quote on Rakan just to see if he was on the 'personal hit list.' Sure enough, I was offered an 84% discount. What can I say? I'm impressed Jhin had the balls to say it to my face.
Xayah, War Criminal

Daisy had a great birthday, thank you so much!!!!!
Ivern, #1 Dad